Human Behaviour
by jtot
Summary: E&B are troubled teenagers who find comfort with each other, but both have hidden secrets in their family and difficult choices are going to have to be made...
1. The Promise

**Ok this is my first fanfic, so any comments, suggestions are welcome. Please read and let me know what you think ******

**I don't own anything Twilight. All of it does to Stephanie Meyer ******

**Ok here goes...**

....

I hate humans.

I fucking detest school. The smell of this amount of filthy teenagers makes me want to gag. I balance my tray of food on one hand and shove a can of soda into my pocket. I make my way through the overcrowded cafeteria as my eyes scout for the only table I would sit at in this pit hole. I spot the blonde mop of my best friend and throw myself into the chair he had already pushed out for me, so I would sit opposite him. He sipped gently on the straw of some fruity shit as he eyes my lunch.

"Geez Ed, you storing up for the winter or something?" A smirk crossed his face as I shot him an evil look anyone else would have shuddered away from. But Jasper knew I wouldn't lay a finger on him, unless he really deserved that shit.

I looked down at the mountain of food and shrugged. It was only my normal amount, burger, hotdogs, chips and some added coleslaw, got to keep it healthy. Well almost. Jasper hardly ate shit and was a skinny little fucker. I wasn't much better but ate what the hell I wanted.

I swiftly changed the conversation "Where is Pixie?" I asked, whilst picking up the double burger with both hands and taking a bite big enough, you would have thought I hadn't eaten all week, well I had skipped breakfast.

Jasper signed and relaxed back into his chair. "Where is Jess?" He questioned back, eyes raised in a sarcastic manner. I just shrugged. I didn't know and didn't care. I watched his eyes scanned the room as if to look for his girlfriend and return to the previous question, whilst continuously pinching the straw between his lips. "She is showing some new girl around school."

I arched an eyebrow at the news of a new addition to the mass that surrounded us. I hadn't noticed anyone new all day, but I hardly ever took notice of shit around me, especially at school. I only had a few more months to wait, and then this would all be over.

"You see her?" I muffled through my mouthful. Jasper's attention finally came back to me and another smirk filled his face. He knew exactly what I was thinking. I had a reputation around this school that I loved and hated indifferently. A nod was all I got, so I questioned that smug smirk, "What?"

"Nothing." He replied, softly chuckling slightly. "I'm sure she will meet the infamous Edward Cullen soon enough...god help her." His voice was lower for the latter part of his comment, but he knew I still fucking heard him.

"What's that suppose to mean?" A growl escaped unintentionally, but I couldn't hold it back. I gulped down my mouthful and stared across the table. I was use to people gossiping and spreading comments about my antics, but Jasper was the only one I respected.

He shrugged in response. "It's just ... well she is pretty. Alice says she is really nice, smart but still shy and timid. She is innocent Ed, a good one who doesn't deserve to be fucked around." His eyes were full of concern for this girl, and he hadn't even fucking met her yet.

"By me who mean..well I..." But I couldn't finish the sentence. We were both thinking the same thing. My reputation was full of rumours of sleeping around. And so fucking what. The girls around here were all the same. They never said no to the partying. To the drugs. To the sex. And who was I to stop them?

I had been young when I realised how easily I could get my own way. I knew the family secret and used it to my advantage. They could do fuck all till I was eighteen anyways. Once they allowed the partying, the drugs and sexual antics followed. Human behaviour interested them as much as it did me. My family would do anything for me. Since they weren't really my family. I didn't know who the fuck the originals were and personally, didn't care. My mother had put me up for adaptation and I never knew anything about her, and equally she didn't know me. How can you abandon something that has never done anything to you? Never hurt you, who you didn't know, I was an innocent baby for crying out loud. But the only explanation I kept returning to was the idea she had never wanted me. So I wasn't going to waste a moment wanting to know that bitch either. Esme had found me when I was three, and since then I have been a Cullen. I've never asked my real surname, and couldn't give a fuck anyways.

"I just know what you are like with girls..that's all." Jasper's comment pulled me away from my thoughts and my eyes refocused on my best friend. The fruit cartoon now lay empty on the table and he sat forward, his eyes searching my expression "No offence."

I threw some salt covered chips into my mouth to stop the comments that wanted to fall from my mouth. Jasper wasn't so innocent before he had hooked up with Pixie, so he couldn't give me that fucking look that sparked guilt into my chest. I can't remember how old I was the first time I had kissed one of the girls that populated Forks. But it didn't take me long to realise the appeal I had to them. They always did all the work anyways, making it so fucking obvious when they were interested, which they always were. I treated them like shit, but they always let me and even came back for more. But none of them meant anything to me. It was just sex. They were just fucking humans anyways.

See my family weren't exactly human. My adopted parents, Carlisle and Esme were vampires. Not in a Dracula "_I want to suck your blood_" way. They had adapted to the human world, and didn't feed upon humans. They didn't want to be killers, the monsters that they felt they were. They had another adopted son, Emmett who they had changed whilst he was still young. He couldn't remember anything about his human life. Fucking lucky him. I couldn't wait till my human part was over. But the parentals had been hard with their decision, deciding they wanted to keep me human till I was eighteen. And there was fuck all I could do about it. It wasn't like I could look up vampires in the phonebook and book myself an appointment for transformation. I had tried to tempt Emmett a few times, with the smell of my blood, but he never caved. The closest I ever got was with Rosaline, but had got fucking caught.

So I had to wait. And although the rest of the Cullen's accepted humans. I hated them. Since I had been abandon by one and used by plenty of the female population, why should I give a fuck? I had been raised by vampires and couldn't wait to become one. The mental and physical power and control they had, I couldn't wait till my next birthday, which was sadly still many months away.

The human I could bear to be around was Jasper. He had been my best friend since I could remember, before I found out about the family secret. He treated me like a brother and we were as close as any siblings. He didn't know what would happen in a few months and I didn't know how to handle any of that shit yet.

I finished the burger and gulped down the guilt that been building, along with the processed meat. I always felt fucking guilty when I thought about what I was keeping from Jasper. I just hope he would understand it was for his own good, and safety.

"Just promise she won't become another one of your conquests." My friend huffed as he picked one of my chips and popped it into his mouth. Cheeky little fucker.

"Ok ok!" I held up my hands in protest of innocence and let a small smile curl my lips. "If she is hanging around with Pixie though...I'm bound to run into her." A raised an eyebrow and widen my smile, trying to make a smile appear on the stern face but it never appeared. "But ok..." I huffed and crossed my arms in defence. "I won't do anything Edwardy around her. I'll be good."

"Good." Jasper's shoulders relaxed and he licked the remains of his stolen food from his lips. The conversation swiftly moved on to assignments we both had and the upcoming party Emmett was throwing. I was bound to run into this new distraction and I would have to remember to be on my best behaviour.

...

**Please review and there is plenty more to come ******


	2. The Rebel

**Second chapter. I will flick between Edward and Bellas point of view...so this chapter belongs to Bella. **

**Please comment if reading...as gives me hope to go on and makes me happy. All suggestions welcome.**

**Twilight and all its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**....**

For such a small school, there seemed to be so many people surrounding me. The bell had just rung to signal the end of lunch, or was it already passed lunch? I honestly didn't know what time it was. People were strolling around campus, joking and laughing, looking like they totally belonged.

I stood out like a sore thumb.

I had no idea where I was going. Sadly I had already convinced the pretty, helpful girl that was showing me around that I knew what I was suppose to be doing for the rest of the day. She had given me a wide grin and a warm hug before departing. The first physical contact I had since moving here, only a few days before. But I couldn't think about the move now. I would only start crying, and couldn't do that whilst surrounded by strangers. That would have to wait till tonight, when the rest of the world was asleep.

I stared down at my map and tried to figure where the science block was located. The classes here weren't so bad. Most of the work I had already done and so felt at ease with the assignments I had been provided with so far. But also bored. I was going to have to find something that would capture my attention. Hopefully I would be able to find a good bookstore at the weekend.

Quickly checking my watch I realise that I'm not suppose to be going towards the science block at all. But that I have gym. I hate gym. I scan my eyes over the playing field and see a class already making their way onto the pitch. Hockey. I could do some sever damage with a stick, and not on purpose.

The guilt for skipping a class already, on my first day began to swell in my stomach, but I firmly pushed it down. I wonder over to the end of the field with the school standing behind me, watching the class being divided into teams. I shifted my weight from left to right before deciding I won't be able to stand for the whole class, so slowly sat on the damp grass, crossing my legs underneath me.

The crowds slowly disappeared and all I could hear was the shout of the gym teacher combined with the clashing of wooden hockey sticks. Searching through my bag, I find one of my favourite books and start reading where I had left it. The lovers of the story were meeting for the first time. Definitely one of my favourite chapters.

I was so immersed into the book; I didn't hear soft footsteps approach. It was only the smell of nicotine that brought my attention back to reality. Some of the clouds had disappeared and the sun was trying to make an appearance so I had to squint as I gaze upon the stranger who now stood slightly in front of me, with his back to me.

He was tall. Tall and slim, I could still see the game going on across the pitch. He wore dark jeans and shoes, with a black leather jacket clinging to his frame. His hair was golden brown colour and stuck out in every direction. He looked perfectly styled but with minimal effort. I bet he got out of bed and just threw his clothes on, yet he looked as if he had just walked off a catwalk.

I watched the cigarette burn between his fingers, in his hand which fell silently at his side. I wondered what the policy on smoking around school was, then realised this guy probably didn't care. He looked like a typical bad boy. Trouble. Before I could think of anything to actually say, he spoke.

"Are you the new girl?" The question came out harshly. His attention didn't leave the match being played out in front of him and he brought the cigarette back to his mouth.

I wondered how long I was going to be known as that. I guess in a school this small, they don't get new people very often and when they do, they are topic of discussion for much longer then I was comfortable with.

"Bella." I introduced. My eyes bore into the back of his head as I watched him take another drag of his cigarette. The smell of nicotine was nauseating and I coughed a few times to myself. I then stayed quiet and let my eyes fall back upon my book. The silence turned seconds into minutes and I nearly forgot he was there at all.

"How comes you aren't in class?" His voice seem softer then before but still with a strong current of confidence. He dropped the stub to the floor and squished it into the dirt with his right foot. His hands found their way into his jean pockets and he slowly rocked on the balls of his feet. He still didn't turn his view from the hockey.

"How comes you aren't?" I whispered and didn't realise I had spoke the words out loud till he turned on his heels and faced me. He wasn't expecting me to question him back. His eyes were the same golden caramel colour of his hair and so deep, anyone could get quite easily lost. I held his eye contact whilst my breathing became heavier; there are no words to describe the power of his gaze. I quickly broke the contact and looked back to my book, gingerly biting my bottom lip. He must have thought I was a right idiot, just staring at him.

He slowly walked towards me and stood beside me, turning his attention back to the game on the field. "I've got a free class actually; I'm waiting for Jas so I can give him a ride home."

I nodded, embarrassed. I felt guilty that my first thought was that he was skipping class. It was what I was doing. I fingered a few pages of my book before realising I wouldn't be able to concentrate with him still standing next to me so closed the book and placed in on the ground in front of me.

"I got lost.." I suddenly blurted out, noting that he had answered the question and I hadn't. "It's my first day and although I've got a map..." I signed knowing that wasn't really a good enough excuse in a school this size. "I hate gym and I was late anyways so..." I concluded with a shrug and let my gaze follow the members of my class, fight over the hockey ball.

"You rebel." He chuckled slightly and began rocking on his feet once more. The sun had disappeared again and the sky grew dark, threatening rain. I pulled on the arms of my jumper and wrapped my arms around myself. I let myself look up at the strange boy beside me and noticed the signs of the smile still on his face, as if he was enjoying a private joke. He removed a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it in a swift movement with his lighter. After a long drag, he brought the lit cigarette down to my level, offering it to me. I shook my head politely and the soft chuckle returned. "Of course not." The words barely left his lips but I still heard them. I returned my attention back to the players and closed my arms around tighter, raising my barrier further. "So how comes you moved to Forks?"

I struggled with my words, not feeling totally comfortable with sharing private information with this stranger. He gave off a vibe that I didn't want to get caught up with. So I gave my typical answer.

"My mum wanted a new start."

"From what?" His answer came quickly and I wasn't ready for that response. Nobody had asked me why. I brought my knees up to my chin and circled my arms around my legs. I let out a sign as I rested my head on top of my knees. His gaze turned to me and I felt compelled to answer.

"Bad relationships." I whispered quietly, not even sure he could hear me. I don't know what made me speak the truth, but once I started, I couldn't stop. "It's always the same. She meets a new guy, they get along great. He then turns out to be a knob and leaves her. So we move and start all over again." I shook my head as I remembered all the times we had upped and moved, just because men that mum had let into our lives. "Some are worse then others." It was silent for a while as I let my mind float back to mum and the reasons for our moving about.

"You like it here so far?" His voice was so soft and full of compassion as he changed the direction of conversation. I bet he could use that to his advantage when he wanted to. He probably had all the girls in this school, eating out of the palm of his hand.

"It's alright. Everyone seems nice enough." I shrugged. Truthfully everyone seemed the same and blended into each other. The only name I could remember was Alice. "How about you?" I questioned, turning my head towards his, seeing his lips pull into a straight line.

"I fucking hate it." He huffed and rolled his eyes. He didn't explain any further. I couldn't decide if he was being rude or just plain honest.

We were silent once more. He didn't feel the need to explain his comment and I didn't feel like I wanted to push for an answer. Because secretly, deep down I knew I hated it as well. Not particularly the place, but everywhere I moved with my mum ended up the same. I never let myself create memories to a place; I never made friends and so never missed anything. It was a lonely existence. So I knew I would end up hating this place as much as the others.

"You like Pi...I mean Alice?" He broke the silence, tilting his head slightly. I sharply nodded, she was overfriendly and confident, but that was exactly the kind of person I needed to help me find my feet. I hoped we could maybe become friends. "You know her?"

"She is Jaspers girl."

"Oh." I replied. She had never mentioned a boyfriend in all the rambling she had delivered to me, or maybe she had and I wasn't paying enough attention. She did talk a lot. I only remembered a few things she repeated in her conversation. "She is trying to drag me to some party... Hermit or something?"

"Emmett." He laughed hard for a few moments before shaking his head disappointedly. Like I was supposed to know who everyone was already.

"Yeah" I mumbled, as if that was what I had meant. I couldn't stop the next question from tumbling out of my mouth. "You going?"

"I should be. It's at my house." He killed the cigarette and stood for a silent moment, shoving his hands deep in his pockets again. "You should go."

With that he swivelled and walked back towards the school. I turned back and watched him leave. He kept his head down and as he approached the building, a bell rang throughout and people automatically spilled from every exit. He greeted a blonde guy and continued his stride to the car park. He never once looked back.

I turned back to the field and realised it was empty. How long had they been gone? The silence was now full of conversation flowing from all the leaving students. The sound of engines ripped through the air.

I let the strange boys comments fill by head.

Rain started to rapidly fall, as if it had been waiting for the end of the day to be let loose. I don't know how long I sat there as it grew darker.

…**..**

**You know what to do…xxx**


	3. The Pet

**Third chapter peeps and bringing in another character, Jess.**

**Please comment if reading...as gives me hope to go on and makes me happy. All suggestions welcome.**

**Twilight and all its characters belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer.**

**....**

"Fucking relax J boy, I didn't do anything." I answered him before I even let the words escape his mouth.

How the cheeky git had spotted the girl and the direction I came from ... I don't know. But he eyed me suspiciously as we made our way to the Volvo.

"But that was Bella right?" He threw me a sideways look and I gritted my teeth. I didn't want fucking twenty one questions.

"If that's her name..."

"I leave you alone for one class..." Jasper laughed but the smile didn't reach his eyes, they were still serious.

"I didn't do anything!" I joked and threw my arm around his shoulder, trying to lighten the look in his eyes. "I promise."

"What happened?" He still had to question, didn't he? It wasn't like I was going to jump on her in front of the whole hockey team. Give me some credit. I signed as I pulled open the driver's door and got in. I slammed the door harder then necessary, hoping Jasper was getting the point that he was pissing me off.

"I was having a smoke and she was skipping class. I barely spoke to her." I put my foot down as soon as we were out of school property. The only way to drive is fast.

"What she like?" Jasper asked, not letting the topic of the new girl drop. I ran my tongue over my lips before answering. She was nice. Argh nice is such a rubbish word. To be honest I didn't notice it was her until I had walked past her. I was looking for a distraction to occupy my free time before school ended and hoped it was one of the girls that populated this school that I could waste my time with. Jess was in the class playing hockey on the pitch. The book was the first thing I noticed. I don't think I know any girls that actually read when they don't have to. So it definitely wasn't one of the girls I usually hook up with.

She had smelt differently too. As I stood next to her the combination of strawberries and honey had radiated off her. Even over the smell of smoke. She was pretty, kind of plain but honestly I didn't get a good enough look at her. I didn't let myself. As I had turned towards her, her eyes were captivating. The blue shone from them and the way she seemed so embarrassed and bit that bottom lip. It was quite sweet actually.

NO. She wouldn't be interested in someone like me; she seemed way to fucking innocent for that. Alice had probably already warned her off me. Plus I had already promised Jasper to stay away. She wasn't going to be any trouble.

"She seems nice." I used that fucking word but didn't know how else to explain. She wasn't like the rest of the girls around here. I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. "She really likes Alice" I remembered and with the mention of his girlfriends' name, the conversation took a different direction and didn't return to the girl.

I dropped Jasper off and swiftly returned home. The house was empty, just the way I liked it. Peaceful. Rain was pounding the earth outside and hammered against the roof of the house. I made myself a sandwich with what I could find in the fridge and made my way to my room. As I walked past my bookcase, a book caught my eye and I slowly picked it up. It was the same one she had been reading this afternoon. A different copy, but still, the same novel. I turned it over in my hands before flopping on my bed and flicking it open.

...

I kept to my stupid fucking promise. Well almost.

Jasper and Alice's excitement for Emmett's party grew each day. In fact the whole school was buzzing about it. Emmett had only attended the school for a year, the last year before graduation. Carlisle and Esme had kept him out until he could be in school whilst I was. I was growing older, and he wasn't, so they had to choose when to introduce him to the school. He moaned like fuck that he wanted to go and ended up in many of my classes. There was no need for him to be there; he just wanted to so he could annoy me. But once I was changed, we were planning on moving. People would only grow suspicious when we didn't age, we were lucky to have got away with it as long as we had. Hopefully we were going to go somewhere there weren't so many fucking humans.

But this party was just another party. Another excuse for the population of our school to get wasted and rub up against each other, trying to make themselves feel something in their dull lives. And I was planning on taking full advantage of that fact.

Best behaviour. Human behaviour.

...

It was only a couple of days before the party, when I spoke to Bella again. I had kept away from her at school, avoiding her gaze across the cafeteria or car park. She never tried to make contact though, and so it was easier to keep my word to Jasper. I kept myself occupied with the other girls that went to our school.

Jessica was my favourite pet.

"Was that good for you too?" Jess moaned in my ear as she slumped down next to me, wrapped her arm too fucking tightly around my waist.

Early hours of Tuesday morning and I was wasting time with the most popular girl in school. It's easy to compare Jess to a pet, like a new puppy, or rabbit. When you first see them, you really want them; even though you know there isn't really enough room in your life for them. Once you got them, you want to play constantly until you get bored, and disregard them. You forget you have them, until you next play with them and realise how much fun it is. But I always become bored too easily.

And no matter how badly I treat her. She always comes back for more. She still loves me.

Around midnight I had to get out of the house. The others were out hunting and the loneliness was driving me mad, I needed company. Jess was ready as soon as I had rung. I had taken us to our normal location, a parking bay at the outskirts of the woods. We had never left the Volvo.

She was so enthusiastic. The way her curls bounced. The way her hands knew what I wanted. The way she planted kisses everywhere. She knew exactly how to please me so I never had any complaints.

Until it was over. Then I wanted to get away as quick as possible.

I shifted uncomfortably in his embrace and his murmured a response I knew she would be happy with. I rolled her over, so I was placed on top of her and she giggled in response. I could feel her toes still curling against my leg. The glint was still in her eyes and I knew she wanted more, so I moved my head slowly towards hers, watching a small smile grow on her lips. I lingered by her lips, feeling her hot breath against my lips. She was waiting for me to make my move; instead I hastily pulled away and moved off her.

"Get dressed...and don't forget your knickers this time."

I was dressed within a few moments and could still her struggling with her clothes as I started up the engine. She fumbled her way into the front seat and softly stroked my neck which I didn't response to.

"Is there any reason why we are rushing?" Jess softly spoke, and I could feel the hurt in her voice. It wasn't personal, I just could only cope with certain aspect of intimacy, and I wasn't the type to stick around and cuddle afterwards.

"I've just got homework to do." I lied as my foot found the gas and I sped away from our hiding spot. Within minutes we were back outside Jessica's house and I nervously tapped my hands upon the searing wheel, the smell of cheap perfume suffocated the car. "Have you got something for me?" I asked, feeling stupid I hadn't asked her straight away, if she didn't have it, this would have been a waste of time.

Luckily she pulled a packet out of her coat pocket and the streetlights made it gleam. I let out a sign of relief, I hadn't even realised I had been holding.

"Well that was much more fun then schoolwork." She whispered in my ear. I could feel her hot breath on my ear and it made my skin itch. She lingered there for a moment, before finding the door handle and running to her porch. As soon as she left, I rubbed my ear hard against my sleeve, followed by rubbing my mouth hard, trying to remove all traces of her. I signed deeply, leaving my arm waving in the air for a moment, before coming down hard on the wheel.

I wound the windows down and turned the radio up. I blasted through the streets, not even noticing the rain that started to fall. I was taking the long way home, when I saw a figure walking down the street.

It wasn't usual to see someone out, at this time in the morning. It was a teenage girl, and as I drew closer, I realised it was Bella. She had the same coat that she wore to school, every single damn day.

I slowed down the car, and turned the music off. All I could hear was the pounding of the rain. Why was she out here at this time? By herself? Had she not fucking noticed the rain that was washing the streets? I leaned forward, trying to see her properly from my passenger window. She didn't even acknowledge the cars presence. I noticed the headphones within her ears. She was blocking out the whole fucking world as well.

After calling her name a few too many times, her eyes became aware of my company. She eyed me suspiciously, probably wondering why I was out this late too and removed her ear pieces. She slowed her pace, but didn't stop completely. The look of suspicion still overtaking her face.

"Bella." I called again and was surprised by how fucking worried I sounded. "Get in the car."

…**..**

**You know what to do… lovexxx**


	4. The Rescue

**The first proper conversation between the two...though she still doesn't know who he is...even his name yet. **

**Please comment if reading...as gives me hope to go on and makes me happy. All suggestions welcome.**

**Twilight and all its characters belong to the wonderful, beautiful Stephanie Meyer.**

**....**

The car was warm.

I didn't realise until I was inside, but I was in danger of being swept away by the rain. It had been cold. I hadn't noticed as I was locked away in my own head.

Mum and I had such a petty argument earlier and I had childish stormed out in the rain. I was walking anywhere, not letting my mind think. It took my eyes a while to realise it was the strange boy's features I had seen through the car window. He was still a stranger, but one who I knew went to the same school, and I was nearly drowned. So I can't complain.

He wound the windows up and heat blasted from the radiator. I was grateful for the warm waves floating throughout the car.

"You can have the music on." I noted quickly, not wanting to make myself a nuisance. "Don't turn it off because of me."

"It was giving me a headache." I noticed he was shivering and wondered why he was driving with his windows down. My wet presence probably wasn't helping. He had turned the heater on full power. He was in dark clothes again, minus the leather jacket. His t-shirt was short sleeved and couldn't help but notice the tensed muscles in his arms. "Where do you want to go?" He asked, slightly turning his head in my direction.

"I don't want to go home." I replied without thinking. Why did my mouth always work before my mind?

"Me neither." A small smile escaped his face and I instantly felt more relaxed. "You hungry?"

The question took me by surprise. I suppose I've never been asked that before at this time of day. My stomach growled instantly and answered the question for me. I laughed, embarrassed and noticed the smile was still on his face.

After we stopped off at a drive through, he parked the car at the end of my street. My mother wouldn't notice us here and I didn't have to leave the warmthness of the Volvo just yet. This made me comfortable as I could leave whenever I wanted; he wasn't leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere.

"So what were you doing out tonight?" I asked in-between chewing on my fries. "Not that I'm grateful for you rescuing me from my drowning." That smile returned to my face, the one that escaped every time I let myself look at his face.

"Needed a drive." He replied whilst eating something that smelt of barbeque sauce. "More importantly...what were you doing wondering the streets?"

"Needed a walk." I shrugged and shifted my gaze from his face to the lightening sky. "Mum and I had a huge fight."

He didn't press for details and for that, I was grateful. "You shouldn't be out alone. It's not safe at night."

It was silent again whilst I finished my fries. I wondered what he was thinking between the silences that usually occupied the gaps in our conversation. I'm sure he was just bored of talking to me, but it felt he was holding back more then he let on. He finished his food and turned to face me, resting his cheek on the head rest.

"You know..." He stopped and his expression looked troubled, like he was searching for the right words to say. "You know you can talk to me. If there are things you need to talk about. I will listen."

I smiled timidly and tried to relax. I folded my feet underneath myself and turned to face him, leaning my side against the inviting leather seat. I tried to stead my breathing before it all came spilling out in one long whisper.

"We always have the same argument, me and my mum. We move around all the time, you know but the same problems follow us. Every man mum meets, always messes us around in some way. One might beat her, whilst others might take possessions, or use my mum for money. Each take advantage but she is so ... _so desperate for love_, she puts up with anyone. Anyone who she feels accepts her. And I've told her over and over again, until my voice is sore..." I stopped and took a deep breath, feeling the tears threatening to escape. "And sometimes she listens and promises changes, but sometimes she becomes defensive you know? Tonight she brought up how I can't understand what she goes through as I've never been close with a guy, but she doesn't understand that she is the reason why. I've seen all these horrible men and disruptive relationships and never, ever want anything like that. So I have a problem with letting people in..."

I signed and fought back tears. There was no way I was going to cry in front of this stranger. "I'm sorry...I don't even know you and here I am, spilling all my problems and sharing too my information, unable to stop talking..." And with that I ran out of words.

He suddenly held out his hand and took mine, rubbing his thumb, gently across my hand. He didn't need to speak; I knew his action meant that, on some level, he understood. My arm tensed for a moment, before I relaxed and let myself smile.

"People are shit." His eyes were focused on our hands, as if he had to watch over his own movements.

It was silent again, with just our breathing creating any noise. This was the most comfortable I had ever felt with a guy, and I didn't even know him. But I let myself just sink in the overwhelming comfort I felt.

"I'm sorry." I babbled, finding my voice again. He was probably wondering how much an hour he could charge for listening to people like me. "You shouldn't have to listen to me going on about my problems. I shouldn't be telling you all this."

"Don't be stupid. You shouldn't be sorry." I wanted to argue that I was being stupid, emotional, but I didn't want to push his kindness. The trouble look encrusted his face again and when he spoke again, his voice sounded more strained. "I never knew my mother. She gave me up shortly after I was born. I've always had Carlisle and Esme as parent figures and they spoil me fucking rotten. I can't even imagine what it is like for you, the things you go through. It makes my behaviour look shit." His eyes were still down and I could see hurt burnt in the gold irises.

He was adopted? I let his confession sink in and realised how I felt he had it worse. With all the horrible behaviour, my mother was still my mum. She would love me, and I would love her endlessly, however many times I had dreamt of belonging to another family. Being totally rejected by my mother and given away is the worse thing I could think of happening, and it had happened to the boy, holding onto my hand.

"Would you ever want to know...why?" I spoke carefully, feeling like I was walking on thin ice and didn't want it to crack. I didn't know how personal we were pushing our boundaries.

He didn't answer for a minute and suddenly became scared that my question had upset him. "No. Sometimes it better not to know. I don't think I could handle it."

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to.."

"Stop. Don't say sorry anymore..."

"I'm s... I mean ok. I won't."

"Good." He answered with a smile and squeezed my hand a little, which made me tingle inside. How could anyone reject this guy?

"Carlisle and Esme must have their hands full, they have another child don't they?" I knew more about Emmett's party, then actually about himself.

"Yeah." His mouth twisted into a smile I didn't quite understand. "Emmett was their first, adopted too. He has been with them for a long time."

Slowly things started to come together in my head. Maybe that was why this boy and Emmett weren't that close. I had never seen them together at school, even though they were both in the same year, if they weren't related, maybe they didn't have much to bond them.

"You get on?" I couldn't stop myself asking.

"Sometimes. He is a lot closer to Carlisle and Esme and so sometimes I feel isolated from that. I don't really help with how I behave."

"I'm sure you aren't that bad..." I was totally blagging as I didn't know anything about him but if he was that bad, surely I would have heard about it now. Alice had told me gossip about nearly everyone in the school; of course I didn't know who they were. But she never mentioned Jaspers best friend, so he couldn't be as bad as the stuff she had filled me in about the other students. They were horrific.

"Jasper would probably fucking kill me if he knew I was here with you." He removed his hand with this comment and grasped it with his other, balling them together on his lap. His eyes lifted and finally met mine. "I'm not a very good person to be around."

"Why?" My eyes couldn't leave his whilst he thought out his answer for a few moments.

"I'm trouble. I don't like ... people. I tend to not let anyone get close to me, to know the real me."

"What about Jasper?" Although I had only seen them together from across the car park or in between classes, I could tell they were close and realised Jasper was the only person I had seen him have any kind of interaction with.

"Jasper is different. I've known him as long as I can fucking remember. He has never treated me differently, with the fact I'm adopted, or live with a rich family, or have no morals." He laughed at his own comments and shook his head. "He doesn't care about any of that shit. But I still only let him see what I want him to. He knows what I want him too. It's the same with everyone else. They all know a version of me; they only see certain aspects of my personality....I have a past with girls." He stated and waited till he thought I would probably pull away, but my eyes were transfixed. "The girls in Forks are all the same ... and Jasper knows my behaviour. Because of your friendship with Pixie, well they don't want me messing with you."

"Do you want to treat me like the other girls?" I could only find words to ask the question that was on my mind.

"No." A frown creased his forehead and his eyes focused on his hands once more.

"You know you couldn't anyways..." I tried to laugh but it just sounded like a croak. "I don't let people in remember. Just because you are a pretty boy...I still wouldn't let myself."

"Good." He replied and I knew he meant it. "Because if you did, I would only use you and get too close, ending up pushing you away, hurting us both."

"Sounds like we are both better off..." I trailed.

"It would be so much better, easier even if we aren't friends. I'm really not good for you. We shouldn't be friends." He shook his head. His words sounding like he was trying to convince himself more then me.

We were both silent again. Was he trying to tell me that he didn't like me? That me and my babbling problems were bothering him? Or was he trying to stop me from getting close to him? Not letting me in.

I was sick of moving from town to town, never making life experiences for myself. Always living for my mum and helping her keep her life together. I had never felt as comfortable around someone, as I have done, these past few hours. He had told me that his life was troubled, but it couldn't be any worse then mine, could it? I decided in that moment that I didn't want to pass on a friendship without even trying. But I couldn't find the words to explain what I wanted. I knew I was going to have to work that out for myself.

"Sometimes it's easier to shut people out, if you don't get close to anyone, then they can never hurt you. You just need find the right person to risk it with. To let in." My eyes searched his, trying to read what he was thinking as I was too afraid to ask. But his eyes just shone back with the warning he had given me earlier, he was still trying to keep my away, yet he couldn't find the any more words to convince me.

Then I felt the barriers return.

I thanked him for saving me from the rain again and slowly made my way back to the house. The sun was coming up and the world would be coming alive in a few hours. But all I wanted to do was sleep. It had felt like the whole night had been a dream.

…**..**

**You know what to do… lovexxx**


	5. The Party

**Thanks for all the people reading..makes me smile like a crazy person hehe...the reviews coming through are wonderful so keep it up guys..the more you want..the more you shall have! **

**Nice lonnnnng chapter here.**

**This was quite a difficult chapter to write...so much stuff is going on with our leading man, and he needs to sort his head out..which im working on, of course.**

**Twilight and all its characters belong to the wonderful, beautiful Stephanie Meyer.**

**....**

_EPOV_

Ever since that night in my car, I can't get Bella out of my head.

At school, I found it harder to avoid her. She had heard my warning, for us not to be friends so still kept away, not trying to make any verbal contact with me. I never let her have a fucking chance. I didn't let myself near her.

I would hear stories about her through Pixie and learn different things about her all the time; even Jasper had started talking about her too. Her life at home seemed harder then she had let on. Her mum often liked to drink and was very popular with the male population. Well that's great when you are a teenager, but not when you have one to look after.

The more I heard, the more interested I became in her. She was so different from the other girls I knew. She occupied her time with studying and reading, always seeing her lost in a book at lunch. Pixie said she was a dancer as well, but didn't want to be part of the school team. I desperately wanted to know more about her, but I knew I couldn't ask anything obvious without Jasper growing suspicious. I tried to have subtle conversations with Pixie about her, always wanting to learn more. I'm sure she noticed the eagerness on my face, not matter how much I tried to hide it.

Part of me grew angry at my friend. The fact he had made me promise not to go after Bella, now made it more tempting. The rebellion side of me wanted to get close to her, just to see what the fuck he would actually do. But risking my friendship with Jasper wasn't worth any girl. And Bella wasn't a girl to mess with. She had her own problems, without me adding to them.

But knowing I couldn't have her because of my word to Jasper and even more importantly because she had issues with guys, made me crave her even more. But I knew myself, and knew if I did get what I wanted, I would loose interest and end up hurting her more, she definitely didn't fucking deserve that.

Before I knew it, it was the night of the party.

As soon as Carlisle and Esme had sat Emmett and I down and explained how they were going away for a week, I could see the ideas forming in my brother's head. Most of them involved Rosaline and I made a mental note to be out for as much of the week as possible. But the first night they were away fell on a Saturday and so that became the night the party was planned for.

Emmett and half the football team had transformed the house within an afternoon. Party lights replaced our normal bulbs and the biggest sound system I have ever laid eyes on, somehow fitted into our living room. They have relocated all the furniture to the safety of the garage and bottles of every alcohol substance could be found on every surface around the living room and kitchen.

Around seven o'clock the first few people started arriving. I had been steadily drinking since lunchtime. I don't know why I intended on getting on drunk, but the thought of having to be around all the morons that I saw everyday at school just made me want to drink. Knowing I would have to keep away from Bella. Alcohol seemed a good idea.

The music pulsated throughout the house and people were everywhere. I was on the hunt for Jasper, making my way to the kitchen; when I spotted the girl who occupied my mind out in the garden. Some spotty boy from school was literally drooling onto her lap. I stood at the kitchen sink and watched from the window, not taking any notice of the people around me. Her eyes found mine and a smile slowly crept on her face. She rolled those blue eyes at her company's conversation and mouthed 'help me'.

I laughed out laugh and fought with the urge to join her. I gripped onto the sink to physically stop myself from moving. If I went near her, I would want to talk to her, touch her. She deserves so much better then anything I could ever offer her. Would she still want me to help her if she learnt what was to become of me? It made me feel physical sick to even think about it.

I removed myself from the kitchen and paced to my room. Half way up the stairs, a heavy hand clamped down on my shoulder.

"Yo Bro...You alright?" Emmett's grin completely filled his face. His hand stayed on my shoulder, whilst a cup of cider occupied the other. "How much have you had to drink?"

I didn't notice until he removed his hand, that I was swaying. I grabbed onto the banister for support, the alcohol was definitely kicking in now.

"Too much. I'm just going to lie down." I leant against the banister to let two girls make their way down the stairs. Emmett eyed them up and down as they passed, and then his eyes returned to me.

"Why are you going upstairs? When there is talent like that around here?" He leaned closer to me and I could smell alcohol. "Unless you have someone waiting for you upstairs?" His eyes slowly lifted, hinting in the direction of my room. "I haven't seen Jess yet."

"You won't find her anywhere near by room." I hissed and his grin returned.

"You moved onto new meat? You seen the new girl? She is so fine, that body...If I was a single guy...." He chuckled and the sound made me want to heave.

"...she is _human_." My whispers grew angry now and my grip on the banister tightened.

"I bet her blood tastes even sweeter then she does." His eyes lit up and I could see the images that would be floating around his head. Similar ones that my nightmares had been composed of recently.

"What would Carlisle think of you talking like that?" I asked, hoping the mention of our fathers name would stop his flow of conversation. I know my family didn't feed on humans, but the thought of any vampire being close to Bella made me sick...that vampire that would eventually be me.

"I'm just saying..." That grin still hung on his face, and it's all my eyes seemed to focus on. Those shiny teeth, weapons.

"Just don't talk about her like that." I must have looked more worried then I thought, as my brother eyed me suspiciously. My face gave away my emotions.

"You like her."

Fuck. This wasn't a conversation I wanted to have with a vampire who had just said how sweet he thought her blood would taste. Because I was starting to like Bella, fuck it...she was all I could think about.

I parked in the garage and sat in my car for hours after she left, soaking in her scent. She had seemed so delicate, so fragile and all I wanted to do was protect that innocence. Let her know there was someone that cared, that would try and look after her. But I wasn't the right person for her...my future had already been decided. I couldn't risk it all going wrong.

Emmett just chuckled again and slapped me on the back, he knew I was fucked. I quickly turned and made my way to the safety of my own room.

My head was swimming with images of my family, the vampires who had taken me in and that I couldn't wait to become a part of. But those images now combined with thoughts of that girl's damn fucking smile. I have never had a girl open up to me like the other night in the car. She had opened her heart and didn't ask for anything in return. She looked past all my shit.

I picked up the bottle of vodka that lay on my bed, and took it into my en-suite. I drank the last portion before pulling out the packet Jess had given me, which was safely hidden in the cupboard above my sink. I carefully opened it and laid out more then I needed.

Then I was out.

...

I hurt. I prised my eyes open to the sound of a soft voice. The floor I was on was cold and hard and it took me a moment before I realised I was still in my bathroom. My eyes couldn't focus properly and my throat felt like there was a fire trapped inside it. I tried to talk but my mouth was too dry, my tongue felt like sandpaper.

"Hey...hey can you hear me?" Her voice was so close to me, it felt like she was inside my ear. I felt her warm hand touch my forehead and my skin burned. She was the last person I wanted to see me like this.

"Go." I finally got out. What the fuck was she doing here? In my room? Witnessing my embarrassing passing out and wanting to die. I had expected the drink to knock me out, eventually but the drugs should have made this more bearable. Instead they turned my stomach into knots and made my skin itch. Whatever Jess had given me, it was fucking shit.

"I'm not leaving you like this." The stubbornness penetrated her voice. I could hear her searching around the bathroom. Cupboard doors opening and closing. Water running. The sound of the party still floated through the floorboards, loud bass of music combined with the muffling of conversation and laughing. "Be careful, there is broken glass and you are bleeding slightly from your hand."

I couldn't fucking move if I wanted to. My body felt like stone and every single muscle ached. I felt as if I was dying, and if I was, I wish I could fucking hurry up and die. It had to be more easy and peaceful then this unbearable shit. I felt pressure against my right hand and knew she was treating my injury. She didn't need to do this. I still didn't want her to be here.

"Jasper..." My voice sounded so horse, it didn't sound like me. The light was blinding and it was easier to keep my eyes shut. I needed water.

"I can't find him." Her voice wasn't as close anymore and I could hear her moving about in my bedroom. I needed to move, I couldn't stay on this fucking floor any longer. My hands slowly found the floor and I hunched myself up, my arms burning with pain at the effort.

"Fuck." I moaned to myself and fought back tears that burned at the back of my eyes. Suddenly she was by my side and I felt her arms wrap around me. I leaned against her and felt her struggle with my weight but I couldn't do anything. If I moved away from her, I would be back on the floor before you could say legless.

I didn't think my legs were going to move at first and all I could get them to do was shuffle. I walked slowly wary of the splinted glass and not wanting to make it harder for Bella to support me. But I didn't even make it to the door. "I'm going to be sick."

I slumped to the floor and rested my head against something cold. It hurt to breath and I still felt blind.

"Hang on." I heard her leave and as soon as the door closed, I let out the biggest cry of frustration. I hurt too much to fucking cry. Everything hurt. I don't know how long she was gone, but before I knew it her voice was back again. "You need to be sick..." Her voice was beside me again and I struggled to open my eyes, she was just a blur against the light. "Whatever you have taken, you need it out of your system." She explained and I knew she was right, if I carried on feeling like this, I was sure death would be the better outcome.

"Go." I tried to push her away, but my hand just found air. I didn't want her to see me puking my guts up.

"I'll be in your room."

I was already being sick before she even closed the bathroom door.

...

Light spilled in through the crack in my curtains and filled my room with sunshine. Was it fucking morning? Shit, shit, shit.

And I was in bed? I found my way onto my back and looked around my room. MY room. My head was on my pillows and was covered by my own duvet. I was still in the same clothes I wore last night, but my shirt felt looser as several of the buttons were undone.

Some of my muscles still ached but it was nothing compared to the pain I remembered last night. I lifted my right hand and noticed the bandage that was neatly wrapped around it, the cut being along my thumb and across my palm.

Fuck. Bella. My eyes found her asleep on the one seated sofa which she had moved to the side of the bed. She was curled up, with her arms wrapped around herself and her head resting on her shoulder. She looked perfectly still and peaceful.

It felt like I was looking at her for the first time. When we had talked in the car, I was keeping my mind on my promise to Jasper that I didn't even allow myself to look at the girl properly. I can't believe I ever thought she was plain. Her brunette hair which she had curled for the party now tumbled down her face and across her shoulders. A thousand different shades reflected from her hair as it caught the light from the window. Her lips were slightly open and perfectly shaped, her jaw line defined her cheeks and chin and her eye lids fluttered slightly as if she was dreaming. Her jeans clung to her slim frame and her blue top made her skin shine. Her breathing was so soft that she was hardly moving.

This was the first time a girl had actually been in my room.

"Morning sleepy head." Her words made me jump as I hadn't noticed her waking.

"Morning." I croaked, but voice still struggled to sound remotely normal. "Your snoring woke me up. You snore so badly." I commented sarcastically, rolling my eyes at her. I wanted to put off the awkward questions that hung over our heads for as long as I could.

"Liar." She smiled and stretched her arms above her head, accompanied by a massive yawn.

"Well you talk like anything...moaning my name all night." I raised an eyebrow at her and made her laugh at loud. Her laugh made me smile and it nearly made me forget all about last night antics.

"You wish" She smirked and carried on her laughter.

Then it was quiet. "You really scared me last night." Her laughter had stopped and seriousness invaded her face. She wrapped her arms around her legs and looked so defenceless.

"I know." I signed deeply and let my head fall back, closing my eyes against the world. "I'm sorry."

"What did you do?" She whispered her voice so fragile, so breakable.

"I don't handle things well." That was an understatement if I had ever heard one. I didn't know how to explain so just decided to be honest, knowing I was going to loose her with the truth of my words. But she deserved fucking better. "I couldn't stand the party, all those people...things people said...so I drank and.."

My voice ceased up and I couldn't even find the guts to tell her the truth. I couldn't bear to see the look in her face. After a few moments she broke the silence.

"I found the bag. I know what you took."

Fuck.

"Why ask me then? If you knew."

"I wanted you to admit it." Those innocent eyes were burning right through my chest. This felt worse then last night.

"How did you find me?" I asked her, just trying to find any chance to change the direction of conversation, even just for me to collect my thoughts and try and explain so she wouldn't hate me.

"Alice told me you would be up here. She saved me from Mike outside and said she needed to talk to me. I thought it was just a diversion you know? But she pulled me into a bathroom and we sat down on the side of the bath." She stopped for a moment and I knew she was holding more back, I pleaded with her through my eyes to tell me. "Well anyways she told me to come and find you. That you would be here."

I knew she had skipped a huge fucking chuck out of that story, but also knew I wasn't the one to be asking questions at the moment. She didn't have to explain herself here, I did.

"Did she tell you who I was?" She broke my eye contact and looked down at her lap. A nod was the answer.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. She knew everything.

"But I don't know that guy with the reputation...I'm only starting to get to know this one. The one who listened to me the other night, who I felt I could talk to. I see a guy in school who is so scared of everyone; scared they will see him for who he really is and reject him. So you reject them before they even get a chance."

"You paint me so fucking innocent Bella." Her pity made me cringe. I hated people feeling sorry for me and didn't like how close to the truth she was. Why didn't my mask work with her? Why did I care?

"I don't think you are innocent at all. I know that you know exactly what you are doing. You know you are spoilt, that your family will always be there to look after you, that everyone in school secretly worships you, that girls will bend over backwards to get with you and still stay with you even after you treat them horribly. You smoke, drink, take drugs. You are like every single guy my mother has ever been with, but all rolled into one." The anger that took over her voice, took me by surprise. "You were right when you said we shouldn't be friends." Her voice was so heavy with disappointment; it made my heart want to break.

"Bella I..." But my words dried up. How the fuck could I explain that I was more different then anyone knew about. I couldn't tell her that I lived in a house of vampires and I was destined to become one. That there was no point to form any kind of relationship, as I would be dead in a few months. It was so much easier to be the bad guy, for her to hate me. Then she wouldn't be hurt when I was gone.

A knock on the door interrupted the silence between us. Emmett poked his head around the door and didn't seem surprised when he saw Bella, sitting beside my bed. In fact he spoke to her, not even taking any notice that I was there.

"Doc is here. He will be up in five minutes."

What the fuck was going on? My throat was still too dry to speak and I couldn't even stop her when she nodded at Emmett and picked up her things. She left without looking at me again. Once the door closed, and I was alone again, I just let the fucking tears fall.

………

**Awwwww. I hate leaving it this way..but its for his own good.**

**Leave some love X**


	6. The Lifesaver

**Am LOVING the fact people are out there reading and loving the story as much as I do...smiles all round.**

**This chapter is kind of a rewind..back to the party but from our fave leading lady, beautiful Bella. Starting to explore the other relationships here as well, Bella & Alice, Alice & Jasper, Jasper & Edward, Edward and the Cullens and of course Edward and Bellas. All be expanded in future chapters toooooo.**

**I don't own Twilight (sadface) the wonderful Stephanie Meyer does...**

**....**

_BPOV_

Before I knew it, it was the night of the party.

I stared blankly into my wardrobe and saw nothing that would blend in with the crowd at this party; everything would just make me stand out more. Nothing was suitable for a party.

A knock on the door interrupted my depressing search through my clothes and I called for the visitor to come in. Alice appeared through the door; dressed in a gorgeous, figure hugging red dress. It hugs all her curves and stopped just above her knees. She wore matching ear rings and necklace, and I suddenly felt so undressed.

"Wow Alice...you look so stunning." I was probably staring at her, but I didn't even know anyone could look that good. She looked like she should have been on the front of a magazine.

"Oh this is just something I threw on." A huge grin filled her face as we both knew she had probably spent hours getting ready. She threw a bag onto the bed and sat down beside it, more clothes then I had my closet spilled out of the bag. "Now it's your turn..."

"Oh no... I mean you don't need to..." But before I could finish my protesting, she threw a dress at me. I caught it and held it up in front of me. There was no way I was going to wear this in front of all those barbies that were going to be at the Cullens tonight.

"Just try it on." She crossed her arms against her chest and I knew she wasn't going to let me out of this room before I had. I would _only _try it on. I was determined that Alice would be the only person to ever see me wear this.

"Ok, ok ... just turn around then." She flashed me another huge grin before turning to face the opposite wall. She picked up a magazine she had brought with her, and starting flipping through it.

As I struggled with trying to fastening myself into the dress, the questions about the beautiful boy I had met still bubbled around my mind. I hadn't spoken to him since the night in the Volvo but my mind always seem to drift back to him. To his voice, those eyes, the vulnerability in his voice, in his stories about his life. I stayed away, as he wished, but only grew more curious about him.

I figured Alice was my best bet to getting any answers. I had been waiting for tonight, as I could maybe use the Cullen party to ask about the boy. "So is all this for Jasper?" I asked her, easing her into the conversation easily. I had grown close with Alice over the few weeks since I had moved to this small town and she was the best friend I had. Jasper had been friendly when I had met him, but always seemed to be holding back, and I wondered if it was because of his friendship with this boy, remembering how he had warned him not to get too close to me.

"Yeah." Alice sighed "He has been really stressed with work and school recently, so hopeful we can have a good time at this party. I mean, I know he works to save money for our future, but it makes him so tired. He should know I would love him no matter what, we could share the same cardboard box on the street ... you know if we had no money."

I smiled at my friends words. It was so easy to see how much they loved each other and after all the relationships I had seen with my mum, it was a new experience. I gave me hope.

It was now or never.

"Do you know Jasper's friend?" I felt silly still not knowing more about him. I didn't even know his name. She was quiet for a moment, and I felt like she was debating on answering me or not.

"You mean Edward?" Her tone was different from when she had been talking about Jasper. I don't know if it was me, but it suddenly felt colder in the room.

"I..I think so..." It felt strange to be able to put a name to the face.

"Why?" Her voice was definitely cold. She closed the magazine and flipped it onto the bed. I was so glad she was still facing away from me; I don't think I could ask her if I could see her questioning eyes on me.

"It's just..." I didn't want to get him into trouble or have to explain that we meet up in the middle of the night. "I see him with Jasper all the time, but no-one talks about him. I was just wondering..." I didn't know if she was going to believe me or not...I wondered if she could see through my excuse; see that I had mixed feelings about this boy.

"Edward is trouble." She crossed her arms again. "He is Jasper's best friend. He has always been friendly to me, but I think it's for Jaspers benefit. He has a bad reputation, doing drugs and sleeping around. He likes to think of himself as the typical school bad boy but..." She stopped with a sigh and I wondered if that was all she was going to tell me. I bit my bottom lip, willing her to go on but she turned around and her eyes opened wide at my appearance. "Oh my god...Bella you look beautiful."

I looked down and felt uncomfortable in the dress. It definitely showed more skin then I was comfortable with. I walked over to my full length mirror and stared at my reflection, it looked like someone else completely. Alice moved behind me, a proud look beaming from her face.

"I can't wear this." The dress did make me look different, but I looked like I was going to a ball, not a house party. The dark blue made me look even paler then I was, and made the colour of my eyes stand out. It shaped me the same way as Alice but I still felt too overdressed. "Can't I just wear some jeans and a top?" I begged with Alice and I could see the disappointment spread.

"Ok. Grab your skinny jeans and put this on..." She leaned over the bed and grabbed a sparkly blue top, shaking it in my direction. "...then we have hair and make up to do." With the grin back, she returned to her position on the bed.

We didn't talk whilst I quickly changed and I checked my reflection before Alice turned to face me. I felt at more ease and the sparkles on the top looked good, it looked like I had made some effort. I heard Alice gasp as she rushed over to the mirror, she liked the sparkles too.

I didn't have a chance to bring up the subject of Edward again and didn't want to seem too eager. So we got ready, discussing Jasper and the other people that were going to be there, avoiding the topic nicely.

The party was like nothing I have ever seen before. I could hear the music before Alice's car even approached the packed driveway. It was dark but bright lights flashed around the rooms, shining on faces before flickering away, making the room spin.

I found myself outside, trying to clear my head of the noise and smell of alcohol and smoke. I felt sick and wasn't even drinking. The population of our school seemed to have no morals, drinking until they were passed out on the floor, people getting it on in front of anyone that was around. In the kitchen, a group of people that didn't even look old enough to be out alone, were playing a drinking strip game.

Why was I even here?

I didn't notice Edward until I was outside. I had been cornered by one the boys I shared biology with and he was going on about some trip; he was planning in a few weeks. I was trying to be polite and listen but my eyes were distracted by the presence of the beautiful boy at the window.

He looked out upon the garden, and his eyes instantly found mine. Did he hate this party as much as I was? Or was this exactly how he liked to spend his free time? With his reputation, this should be exactly what he was into. Yet somehow, I could sadness on his face. A smile had appeared when he saw me, but as he pulled himself away from the window, there was definitely pain within his features.

I was just about to excuse myself from Mike, when Alice came to my rescue.

"I need to talk to you." She whispered in my ear and grabbed hold of my hand. She pulled me away before I had a chance to say anything to Mike and led me through the party. It had grown darker in the living room and there was definitely less people, but I still couldn't see where I was going.

She opened a door beneath the stairs and pulled me in, quickly looked around, making sure no-one had followed us and closed the door. "Sit" She pointed to the bath and I perched myself uncomfortably on the side. It was so much colder in here, from the heat in the rest of the house and I was glad of the cold touch on my hands as I gripped the edge.

"Alice...what's wrong?" She paced around in front of me, a confused look flooding her face. I began to get worried that something had happened between her and Jasper.

"If I tell you something...well you can't tell anyone." Oh my god. A million and one thoughts filled my head and my breathing became deeper. I was really worried now that I could only nod in response.

She came and sat next to me on the side of the bath. Then exhaled loudly before rushing through what she needed to say. "You can't tell anyone this came from me, cause if he found out it was me, and well...he wouldn't believe it was me anyway. He thinks I hate him and I do...well I don't hate him, just strongly dislike...most of the time. Most of the things said about him are bullshit though. If he hurt you...well I don't know how I would cope. But he deserves to be happy..well I think...oh my god...I can't believe I'm doing this. YOU CAN NOT TELL JASPER."

She stopped as she ran out of air and took another deep breath. Her eyes were wide and searching mine but I had no idea what she was going on about.

"Who are you talking about?" I asked, taking her hand in mine, trying to calm her breathing.

"Edward." My mouth fell open at the name but I could find no words.

"He likes you. I know he does. He doesn't say it, but whenever I talk about you, this look comes across his face and he is always so eager to know more about you. I see him looking at you all the time, when he thinks no-one notices. I just had to witness you making puppy dog eyes at each other in the garden. Since your first day, there is something different about him, and a few days ago, I saw something in his eyes, something I often see in Jaspers."

I make puppy dog eyes? He made them towards me?

"But..." I wanted to argue that there was no way he could like me. He could easily have his pick of girls, who could give everything to him. He wouldn't go for someone as plain as me; someone he knew had a problem getting close to anyone. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because..." She paused as voices closely passed by the door. She watched the door and I prayed whoever it was, wouldn't try and get in. The voices disappeared and she turned her attention back to me. "Because if I have to see that look on his face one more time...whenever I mention your name...I swear I'm going to cry. I know he has got a bad reputation and everything but there is another side to him. I mean how he is with Jas...it proves he isn't all that bad."

"How do you mean?" Alice was confusing me, I thought she hated Edward?

"About a year ago Jasper and Edward were in an accident. They were coming back from a camping trip and Jas was driving, I don't know exactly what happened...but they got ran off the road. I think ... another car came around the corner, and just didn't see them and they ... moved out of the way. The car skidded uncontrollably and went down a hill, flipping over until eventually came to a stop at the bottom. It was just the two of them...in the middle of the night."

She paused a moment and caught her breath. Emotion filled her voice and I feared she would cry, she obviously found this hard to talk about. I wasn't very good handling other people when they got emotional.

She squeezed my hand before carrying on. "Edward managed to pull himself out of the car, though his hand and some ribs was broken, but Jasper...he had a spike from a fence they hit on the way down, sticking out of his side. If Edward had left to get help, Jas would have died. He pulled that spike out of him, bandaged up his wound and pulled him free. Somehow...I will never know how...but he carried him back up that hill and for miles..walking...until they came across a house and called for help. He was safely taken to hospital and recovered. If it wasn't for Edward, my boyfriend...I" She moved her free hand and placed it over her heart. "I would have died that night. But Edward didn't tell anyone...the story everyone knows is that they both struggled out...and luckily found a house and lied about where their car was. It was only after an argument I was having with Jasper about how selfish Edward was, when Jasper told me the real story."

I sat there stunned, struggling to put myself in Edwards's position. If that had happened to anyone, not many would have the strength and courage to do what he did. No-one knew, and still thought of him as a bad boy who didn't care about anyone but himself.

"Why didn't he ever tell anyone?"

"I don't know. Jasper never has told him that I know. I've never been able to thank him for saving his life. When Edward went back to the car the next day, it was in ruins. Something leaked and it blew up. Jas could have still been in there...but Edward always told people it was on fire when he got there, saying it was probably kids. Only he, Jasper and I, and now you...know the truth."

We both didn't speak for a long time. I could feel Alice closely watching me, waiting for my questions, but something kept them trapped in my mouth. All my questions I had were for Edward. Yet I knew I would never be able to ask him.

"Oh my god..." Was all I managed to whisper, my mind was racing with this new information.

"I know. I can't imagine how he ever found the strength...but the bond he has with Jasper. They would truly die for each other and I know what happened that night has a lot to do with it. I know he doesn't get along with many people, but he is so close to his family. I've seen them together when I've been with Jasper before, and it's like seeing a different Edward."

"But he still has a bad reputation. Drugs and girls... he still is trouble." I didn't want one good story to overrule all the bad ones he was part of.

"Most of his reputation is gossip. People make up things and everything gets misheard. Most of it isn't true. Just there to keep people away. Trust me...I don't approve of the way he lives his life...luckily Jasper has never followed suit. But deep down...he just wants to be loved. And I hate it when two people like each other and don't do anything about it!"

A smile crept onto her face as she eyed me suspiciously. I tried not to blush too much. "What makes you think I like him?"

"Oh come on! I've seen you looking at him at school, gazing at him when you think no-one is watching. You were so desperate for me to mention his name again earlier. You have smiled every single time I say his name..."

I bit my lips, desperately fighting the smile that wanted to escape. "But honestly Alice...he likes a lot of girls. He is sleeping with half the female population of the school apparently." I raised my eyebrows at her and she knew I was right.

"But he doesn't like them. Edward doesn't really like people. All the time I've known him...he has never actually liked a girl. They throw themselves at him and he is only a guy; it just takes advantage of it. But he actually talks about you...he wouldn't do that if he didn't like you."

"I don't know..." Growing more self conscious that I was actually talking about my feelings for him with someone else, someone that was thinking that this actually might be a good idea, it made me nervous. I didn't know if I was brave enough to let him in, to let my barriers down with him. Especially when he was going to be trouble.

"Look you are never going to find out unless you try. Just talk to him...get to know him, not his reputation. I know Jasper won't be happy about it...he has this thing about Edward going after girls that don't deserve to be treated like shit. Jasper actually has a soft spot for you, as you are special to me." She beamed at me and I couldn't help but smile back. "But he won't treat you like that, if you don't let him. Go and just talk to him. Leave Jasper to me."

"But..."

"Go!" Alice interrupted and pointed towards the door. The smile still shinning off her face. It took me a few moments before I found the strength to get myself up and walk to the door. "It's on the second floor...second door on the right."

I looked back at her and she waved me to go. I gave her one last smile and let the door close behind me.

………

**And we all know what happened when she found him….silly boy.**

**Next chapter will be a surprise POV…..**


	7. The Visitor

**The hint of a different POV made you all wonder, though nobody did guess who...more will crop up over the story but most will be E/B**

**Stephanie Meyer owns everything Twilight. **

**....**

**APOV**

I pulled into one of car park spaces and turned the engine off. I sat in silence for a few seconds, trying to gather my thoughts.

It was another dull in Forks and the clouds coated the sky, hiding the sun from view. The car park was nearly full; hopefully I would be the only visitor to see Edward today.

After the party, he had been admitted to hospital the next day on doctor's orders. With the amount of drugs and alcohol in his system, his stomach had to be pumped and several tests were been taken. He had been here for the past few days.

Jasper had been the only one to visit. Jasper made up some excuse that the Cullens couldn't be around hospitals or the sick, but it still felt wrong to me. But I kept my mouth shut; I knew Jas was curious as well. He would have told me if he knew more. He didn't like hospitals either.

I hated lying to Jasper but I knew he wouldn't approve of me being here, especially to see his best friend. He thought I was out with Bella, and I hated lying to her as well. I knew she was thinking about Edward. She wouldn't tell me about what happened at the party, only saying she found him passed out. But I know they have met and been talking. I just hope they are both ready for what could happen, what I've seen happen.

Rain pulled me from my thoughts as it calmly tapped against my screen window. I quickly pulled my hoodie on, pull the hood up and step out of the car. Automatically locking it as I walk slowly towards the building. It looks so much bigger as I approach, people busily rushing in and out. I'm already starting to feel uncomfortable.

A friendly plump woman at reception points me in the right direction for Edwards's room. I pretended I was his sister, do they even know he doesn't have a sister? Better for me though. No questions asked.

I enter the ward he is supposed to be in and I'm instantly surrounded by elderly people. Old men and women are laid back in their beds, many wired up to machines and drips. Clipboards are pinned to the bottom of each bed, the bed just being a metal frame with a single mattress on. Half of the room are asleep, whilst the others are reading newspapers or watching small televisions, placed high on the ceiling. Everything is so white.

I walk slowly past the beds, all eyes turning in my direction, until I notice the person I came to see. The curtain is pulled around half of his bed and there is already a chair beside him. My shoes sound so loud against the hard floor.

I've never seen him asleep before, but he looks so different. Whenever I've seen him through the day, either at school, or out with Jasper, he always looks like he has a huge chip on his shoulder. Like he is annoyed with the world, angry that he with his life. His face is usually creased with worry or suspicion or anger; he always acts like he has the hardest life. Spoilt brat.

But asleep, all of that is gone. You can't see the charm in his eyes, the smirk in his smile. You can't hear his lies. He looks almost innocent.

I carefully sit myself down in the chair and cross my legs underneath myself. I look around his bed and notice how empty it all looks. There are no cards of sympathy, no flowers, nothing personal here at all. The only thing by his bed is a bunch of grapes which I knew Jasper had brought. They lay untouched.

I picked up the grapes and balanced the bag on my knee, before popping one in my mouth. I relax back into the chair, studying his face. I can see what all the girls see in him but he is no Jasper.

I turn my head as I hear heels approach behind me, a red haired nurse stopped by the end of Edwards's bed and picks up his chart. She smiles widely when she sees me.

"Hello dear...you come to see your boyfriend?" Her voice sounds so warm and inviting, I almost nod.

"Ooooo no." I shake my head quickly, remembering my excuse that got me in here. "He is my brother."

"Oh." The nurse looks taken back and eyes me suspiciously. I bet she hears that one all the time. "Just thought you might be the girl he talks to me about..."

Now I'm the one who looks suspicious and wonder if it's Bella he talks about. Before I can ask, she is checking the chart and is busy with a pen. "He seems a lot better today, sleep does him good."

"How is he doing?" What Jasper had told me hadn't been very good, and seeing him surrounded by all these sick, dying people only made me feel worse.

"Better. He wasn't in a good state when he was brought in. Everything is out of his body now though, so should be fine. He is a very lucky man though, we nearly lost him."

A chill ran through my body. I knew Edward did stupid things like drink too much and take too many drugs, but the thought of him dying, truly scared me. "Do you think he will be able to leave soon?"

She signed as she put the clipboard back and that friendly smile reappeared. "Any day now, he will be missed though, gets along with all the nurses on the ward."

I bet he does.

She smiled at me another moment, before moving onto the next bed. She pulled the curtain around us, hiding us from view of the neighbours, giving us some privacy.

Minutes pass. I eat a large potion of the grapes and think maybe I should leave, not wanting to wake him. But just as I'm about to get up, his eyes slowly flicker open. His eyes take a few moments to focus and when he sees me, what is that? A smile? I was expecting a look of shock and horror.

"Fuck me." His voice comes out in an almost whisper, he sounds so different to his normal cocky self. Maybe this would be easier then I thought. "Out of all the people in the world, you are seriously the last one I ever expected to see here... Come to finish me off." His smile disappears and he looks tired, like he had been woken from sleep.

My hands fidget with each other and my eyes drop to my lap. I've never actually been alone with Edward and didn't know how to start what I needed to say. I should have planned this better.

"I think you did a pretty good job at trying to kill yourself...maybe next time?" Bitterness poisoned my voice but I held it steady. I heard him sign loudly and lifted my eyes to him; he laid his head back, staring at the ceiling.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself. You think I would do that?"

I kept my eyes on him, willing him to look at me. "I don't know what you would do." My voice was still calm but anger started to build inside. "But you kill yourself every time you have one too many drinks...every time you put drugs into your body."

"I don't need a fucking lecture Pixie." He spat and I could hear he was growing angry too.

"Don't you? Cause it seems to me that you aren't listening to anyone."

"And you think I'm going to listen to you?" His words came harsh and fast.

"I don't know." I whispered and wondered if I was wasting my time. But I had to remind myself I wasn't here for me. "I know you act like you only care about yourself, but we both care about the same person. I know Jas means a lot to you."

"Oh...so that's why you are here? He finally moved his head and glared straight back at me. "Did lover boy send you?"

"No." I shook my head, hating that he wasn't taking what I was trying to say seriously. "He doesn't know I'm here."

"_Why_ are you here?" He tilted his head slightly, waiting for my answer. I took a deep breath before replying.

"Well I know we've never really got on...we don't really know each other. I don't like the way you lead your life or most of the things you do...I also know that's none of my business, before you say. But I love Jasper, with everything I have...and I know how much you guys mean to each other. If anything happened to you, it would destroy Jasper."

I knew then I was getting through to him, at the mention of his best friends name, a look of guilt flooded his face. So I pressed on, whilst I had his attention. "You nearly_ died_ the other night, and you've got to stop being so _selfish_. Do you even know what it would do to your family if something happened to you? How it would affect Jas? You mean more to people around you then you know."

He was silent and I hoped what I said was sinking in. The reality of hospitals, blood tests, stomach pumping, people dying was all more real here. Death was closer, more present then ever.

"You don't understand...everything. There are some things I can't tell..." He closed his eyes as he struggled with his words.

"I know. I don't know your life story Edward. But you need to sort yourself out. You can't continue like this. You will end up dead. No excuses will get you out of that."

His eyes stayed closed and I didn't know whether I had been too harsh, too truthful. "You have no idea what this is doing to Jasper. He is worried sick about you...all the time."

He was still quiet but his breath grew heavy, and I wondered if he was choking back emotion. "There is someone else that cares about you too."

His eyes flew open and he opened his mouth, but still no words came out. He knew who I meant. "I had a dream...before she even moved here. I saw you both together, you were so happy together. When I saw her...that first day, I thought I was dreaming again."

"So you dream of me." The cocky edge was slowly returning to his voice. I had lost him again. "I won't tell Jasper."

"Will you just LISTEN to me?" My tone was serious and strong and even made him nod. "I don't just dream random things. I hardly ever dream...and when I do...well it happens. It's like I see what happens, before it does. I saw Jasper in my dreams, before I had even met him. Everything I have ever dreamt has happened."

"Why are you telling me this?" He sang in a bored tone, his attitude was making me want to scream.

"Because...because I see the way you look at her and I know she has feelings towards you." A blind guy could tell you two liked each other.

"What did you say to her?" His eyes grew dark as his voice became strained. "In the bathroom before she came to see me?" How did he know about that? I didn't know how much Bella had told him, so just shrugged. That was between me and her.

"I told her...the same I'm telling you. You both deserve to be happy...and if you like each other...you should do something about it." Stop driving everyone else crazy with your love sick looks towards each other in school.

"She deserves so much better then me." I couldn't disagree with that, however pitiful he sounded.

"Yeah she does. She deserves a lot better then this excuse lying in a hospital bed. But if you sort yourself out, cut out all this adolescent behaviour and _damn grow up_, you can be good enough. I know you can."

He was silent again and all I could hear was the beeping on the machine connected to the neighbour's bed, the ticking of the clock, my own breathing. "But Jasper has warned me not to go near her...he will cut my hands off if I touch her."

Now I paused before answering. Jasper had told me of his warning to his best friend. I had argued that it was going to be difficult; I had formed a good friendship with Bella and didn't want to make things complicated if we all wanted to be together at the same time but I was also determined that Bella wasn't going to become the next Jessica. Jasper had done the right thing.

"We just don't want you treating her like you do with the rest of the female population. You know she isn't like other girls. If you treat her like Jess...I will cut more then your hands off."

A small chuckle escaped his lips as he smiled at my last comment. "You have Jas wrapped round your little finger, don't you?"

I shook my head to shake away my annoyance of his subject change. "I don't have Jasper wrapped around anything. Love isn't about control, one overpowering the other. It's about balance, being equal."

"But what happens if you weren't equal." The smile and chuckle disappeared and he sat himself up in the bed, pulling the cover over, hiding deeper. "What if one of you was different, more...different then the other?"

Different. Difficult.

"You would have to find a balance, some way that you were both comfortable with. I'm not saying it's easy, but when you find the person that is worth it, well...I can't even describe the feeling."

"That's ok...I don't think I could take anymore of hearing your fucking feelings for poor Jasper." He said with the smile returning to his lips.

"You've just got to realise this was a close call. I know you have got struggles...that you don't tell anyone about...but we all have our personal demons. You've got more to live for then you realise. You don't want to drag Bella down with you, be the person she needs, that she will want." His eyes widen at Bella's name. They were so similar already. "I know you have it in you."

"Why do you believe in me so much?" He reached out for the bag that still sat on my lap. I stood up and placed the bag into his palm, and sat on the side of the bed. He didn't seem to mind at me moving closer.

"Cause two of the closest people to me...have seen a glimpse of you, the real you and they would stand at your side. Those two people are the most unique, selfless people...I probably will ever meet. So I trust their judgement and believe in the person they do."

"I think I could get use to this..." He smiled whilst throwing grapes up in the air and catching them in his mouth. "Pixie being nice to me."

"Cut out the bad habits. Change and I will be." I tried to keep my voice serious but couldn't help smiling back at him. The tension that had always seemed to linger between us had evaporated; I knew some of what I had said, got through to him. He knew I only had his best interest in heart. "You are actually a decent, good person...and I promise I won't tell anyone." I joked.

"Better not." He smiled back, but it quickly dropped. "You know I can't promise anything...I'm never going to be a bloody saint..."

"Just try." I whispered as he consumed the last grape. He looked deep in my eyes and I watched him swallow, taking a bigger gulp then needed for one grape, he was nervous. Slowly a smile curled the corners of his lips and he nodded. "Lecture over."

………

**But will he keep to his word? **

**Don't want to sound too much like harryp, but difficult times are lay ahead hehe…**

**Next chapter will return to EPOV.**

**Happy chocolately easter everyone xxx**


End file.
